five minute friday: endure
I thought I would break. Physically in half. The agony and twisting in my own soul was more than I could bear any longer and I was as close to hopeless as I think I have ever been since surrendering my life to Christ. I knew He could do all things and He was fully in control but I figured He must’ve forgotten me. Forgotten us. Forgotten our situation and our failing marriage.
After 15 rocky years, and those last five were a doozy, our marriage had finally hit a wall. We were wrecked, and not in a good way.
How could I possibly endure this? I called my mentor, her response was no help. Settle in with Jesus, this one is gonna be a marathon not a sprint. What kind of advice was that? I don’t even like to run!
A marathon it was, though. As the days turned to weeks, I felt my heart getting colder, harder and far more distant. I pulled away from my husband, who gladly let me, as we were basically roommates at this point. I pulled away from friends and church. And mostly I pulled away from God. In my mind He hadn’t come through, so why bother?
The funny thing is, God never pulled away from me.
I failed to endure. He never fails. Not ever.
Paul exhorts believers in Colossea to “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him: bearing fruit in every good work, increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might for all endurance and patience with joy.” ( Colossians 1:10-11)
Enduring the circumstance and being patient with the people. Definitely not where I was in spring of 2015.
But it certainly was where the Lord was.
He is ever patient with us who are His, He is ever enduring with the circumstances of our sin. His heart and passion is to draw us near to Himself. Not for HIs gain, but ours. I can’t imagine why! I have looked at my own self in hindsight in that season and thought, wow, I’da let that girl go, she hit a low point in sin and wow, she sure isn’t worth it.
But not God. He looks at us in our pit of sin, in the mud and muck, right there where we made our own puddle and sat right down in it rather than endure the hard season near the King and He extends His hand and patiently and enduringly waits for us to take hold.
God alone has since redeemed my marriage in a big way from that season of darkness. But most of all, He has redeemed me. I had walked with Him for years when I poured water in the dirt and chose to play in it rather than endure the trial His way. And yet, He knew that muddy season would come and He waited patiently, like a Daddy in a lawn chair watching his daughter play. Then before I even opened my mouth to call Him, He was already hosing me down in gentle reprimand,
My child, I called you to endure with joy because in Me you can.
Our endurance is strengthened in our knowledge of Him, as we see in Colossians 1:10. Want a simple effective method to better know Him through His word? Drop your email below and I’ll send it to your inbox.