finally cancelled

{five minute friday: cancel}

Plans cancelled, weddings cancelled, sporting events cancelled, memories we had hoped to make cancelled.

We feel robbed as COVID cancels all that matters to us. Even now, as we face holidays ahead that often provide gatherings that will likely be cancelled, we wince at the thought of more cancelled plans and hopes.

All the cancelling brings to mind one thing for which I am so grateful of its cancelling.

As a young woman, wife and new mom, I was moving in one direction at top speed: my own. Living for myself without purpose or direction. I had this new baby who I had assumed would be the best glue to keep the shaky one-year-old marriage together. My life-long insecurities were nearly strangling me most days. And though I had always dreamed of being a mom, suddenly the inability to do it perfectly was strangling me. Determination was not getting me very far.

Everything changed that first week of November in 2000, as I sat on my bed, Bible open in my lap. The scales fell from my eyes and I knew. It wasnt hard for me to recognize I was a sinner. It wasn’t hard to believe this Man lived. But suddenly I knew He lived and He died for me.

It was cancelled. That record of debt that stood against me, that held me blind to the Truth, that kept me running in my own direction looking for love, meaning, stability. That record of debt was cancelled.

You, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of the flesh, God made alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. (Colossians 2:13-14 ESV)

Two decades ago this week, I surrendered my soul, the messy, selfish, unstable, desperately needy soul, to Jesus. He opened my eyes through the pages of His Word that day and redeemed an atheist girl drowning in self-created debts. He cancelled every legal demand the prince of darkness shouted against me. He brought me from death to life and I have been ruined for anything less since.

Even in seasons of sin and wilderness, the pull was strong, the Lord is relentless for HIs own. When He cancels the debt, it is complete. We then, are free to walk in that. Seeking to better know the One who knows me perfectly.

Again this morning I sat at His feet in gratitude of who He is and what He has done. Pressing into His Word again, listening to this One who seeks and redeems and cancels the debts of the messiest of sinners.


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25 thoughts on “finally cancelled

  1. So much is different this year but I like you have been able to see how much we can reflect on God right now. As we go into the Christmas season, we can take the time to rejoice in His birth and how that moment gave us the greatest cancellation of all time–He cancelled our sins! (Visit from FMF # 13)

  2. Wow, Mariel, what a testimony! Thank you for sharing your story. I love your words, “I have been ruined for anything less since…” What a gift. (Karen, FMF #10)

  3. In the middle of a really rough night, I thought about the image used in Oliver Stone’s film, ‘World Trade Center’, of Jesus appearing to a trapped Port Authority cop, holding a bottle of water.

    Then I developed it further, as fever was spiking…to comparing Jesus, God help me, to a can of beer.

    I hope, Mariel, that you’ll find some meaning in this…or a smile…or at least cause for a supremely satisfying eye-roll.

    He’s like a can of strong Real Ale;
    the similie’s because
    to get out free from sin’s dark jail,
    you need drink to get the buzz.
    You can’t just hold closed can in hand,
    and say, “Well, how-di-do!”
    You have to drink to understand
    what He can do for you,
    in wiping out what was before
    (hung-over, like, but better)
    and closing fast a heavy door
    on yesterday’s dead-letter.
    He will gladly pull guilt’s plug,
    so go ahead, and chug-a-lug!

  4. I’m visiting from Five Minute Friday, what a beautiful post full of truth and grace. “When He cancels the debt, it is complete.” Love this! Thanks for sharing.

  5. I love your perspective on this and your beautiful testimony. So much has been canceled that we should always be grateful for Thank you for linking up with Grace & Truth this week!

  6. Mariel, I rejoice over this story of your redemption, so precious! And I am encouraged at remembering my own, and that Jesus indeed cancelled my sin debt, Hallelujah!! Thank you Mariel for such an uplifting post!

  7. Thank you for sharing your journey Mariel. What an encouraging reminder of our hope in Christ and the joy in our debt being canceled. I’m visiting from the instaencouragments linkup today. Have a blessed day!

  8. Beautiful testimony of the best cancellation that which we receive when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, our sins removed from us as far as the East is from the West. Our debt has been cancelled.

    Thank you for this reminder to turn our hearts in gratitude again and again to Jesus, who died on the cross so that the debt we owed God was cancelled, taking all of our sin, punishment and shame on the cross.

    Thanks for sharing.

  9. A thousand Hallelujahs! This is so beautiful, Mariel. My father was absent from the life of two little twin girls. We had an amazing stepfather, but I guestioned if I was lovable because of my dad’s absence. Then, he reappeared when we were 9 years old. One of the first visitations with him at my grandmother’s house, he told us, “People think there’s a God, but there’s not.” So now I questioned if I was lovable and if there was a God. At 16, my sister and I both accepted Jesus Christ as Lord. I faithfully prayed daily for my dad to believe. After over 5000 prayers, and 16 years later when I was 32, my dad came to know Jesus as Lord. He passed away in 2010, but so thankful he is with my heavenly Father. 🙂 God bless, your testimonly really resonated with me in more ways than you will ever know!

    1. Oh Karen, praise God for how He saves! What a beautiful testimony! Thank you for sharing. My own Dad did not come to the Lord until 10 years before He passed away either and it had been nearly a decade after my own salvation. God’s way and timing is perfect though, isn’t it? Grateful for your visit and your comment.

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