Desperate Enough to Know Him

I was desperate but I didn’t know what I was desperate for. I was an atheist with a new baby and new marriage that was already falling apart. I opened a borrowed Bible desperate for answers. It seemed my last resort. I had to prove this book wrong in order to shut my husband up about dragging me and the baby to church.

I surrendered my life to Christ as I finished reading Genesis.

I was desperate.

Having not been raised in church, I knew NOTHING about the contents and characters that my Bible mentioned. I wanted to know everything. Now. So I plunged into every Bible study I could sign up for. I wondered about that Italian prophet, Malachi. I asked, aloud, in a full room of Bible study participants about how King Saul from the Old Testament became Paul in the New Testament.

How was I to know the time span that stretched across those pages?

I was desperate after years of workbook bible studies, commentaries and devotionals.

The hand-holding and head knowledge was needed, FOR SURE, as I navigated those details and learned to pronounce those Minor prophets. I had to be taught about Moses, Noah and Jonah.

But as I fell in love with the Word, I became more desperate to hear the Author for myself.

I began to seek out how to engage with the Word first hand. I learned study methods from Priscilla Shirer, Anne Lotz, David Platt and others. I implemented what worked and spent the next ten years truly tending my soul by the word of God through my TEND method.

I was desperate again this morning to hear Him speak a Word. Tell me about yourself, Lord. I want to know you better. I come to Him eager and expectant.

I take the time to pray. Only God Himself can reveal his truth to me.

Then I examine the facts in each verse. Today I looked at the facts in Haggai 2:6-9, since I have been going slowly and methodically, a couple verses a day through this Minor prophet book.

Then I notice what is being taught about God and what lessons are there. Today I saw He is the shaker of all things, as He reveals He is the unshakable One. I saw right there in v. 9 that in His presence there is peace. And He showed me that He shakes all the things that seem permanent because He has a plan and something greater is coming.

Something greater was coming for Haggai and the remnant of God’s people in Jesus Christ. And He is returning to us once again. Great things are coming as one day we, who have surrendered to Him, will open our eyes to Reality and see Him face to face.

I am seeking to do what God told me and respond to His Word with expectation. For today that means I am praising Him for His presence which brings peace. I am praying for all the places that are being shaken, and there are many in this world right now, amen? And I am praying for dear ones who are shaken to find peace in the presence of the stable One.

How about you, friend? Does life feel shaken?

Are you desperate enough to know Him better, to know him first hand?

Drop your email below and I’ll send you my free Tools to Tending your Soul.


About Me

I’m Mariel & I invite you to greater intimacy with God through His Word for yourself, using my TEND method of Bible study.

6 thoughts on “Desperate Enough to Know Him”

  1. Wow, Mariel, what a powerful and moving story you have! Thank you for sharing it with us. I grew up in faith, but in those times when I have felt so desperate, I have felt so close to God. Your words are a blessing today. (Karen, FMF #4)

  2. Such an interesting story! I love the point about hearing God himself, even among the riches of the text. Thank you, Mariel

  3. Wondeful testimony. For those of us raised the the Word of God, we must remember that not everyone knows what we know. I have to reminded myself as I write to keep it simple. pinned. (COming to your for Anita Ojeda’s site)


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